Always waiting. Waiting until I think my head will explode if I have to wait any longer. And of course, we just have to wait longer.
Since we got our last negative test, we’ve known we’d have to wait until July for our next treatment. We were told that before we start with superovulation we needed a clinic appointment with a Dr.
In the mean time, we learned that we are now at the top of the clinic’s waiting list for their sperm, so now we don’t have to pay for the jism any more. Today we went in to look at their limited choice of donors. It was nothing like our last sperm shopping experience. For a start, there were only 3 to choose from (although one was cmv+, so we ruled him out since OH is cmv-). Last time, we got pages of information about the donor, his medical history – more information than I could reasonably take in actually – and a baby photo of him. This time, we got a reference number (no comedy code name like Fritz), height, eye colour, hair colour, skin tone and what he does for a living (oh, and cmv status). We still managed to get one with similar colouring to me, which is nice, since we weren’t sure we’d be able to. And he’s only new, so we’ve got a greater window of opportunity for siblings.
While there, the nurse saw we didn’t have a clinic appointment until 14th may. She spoke to the Dr, who said we didn’t necessarily need the clinic appointment before starting, but we do need to see a nurse before we start to go over the practicalities of the drugs. We now have that booked in for 7th may. We got quite hopeful that this would mean we could have a treatment in may, but as it turns out, when we checked OH’s period app, she’s due on 3rd may, just too early. Obviously, this is pretty disappointing, having got our hopes up, however briefly.
We did also learn though that, even if we weren’t going on holiday in June, we couldn’t have had treatment then as they shut for maintenance for 3 weeks in June, and while there is some stuff they can do, the labs are shut, meaning they can’t prepare sperm. At least this means we can enjoy our holiday knowing we aren’t missing a treatment opportunity.
July is still a bloody long way away though.
Meanwhile, we spent last weekend visiting OH’s family. We don’t see much of them, as they are dotted all over the country, but on Sunday we were at our niece’s thanksgiving service (a bit like a baptism, but without flinging holy water about) and everyone was there – aunt, uncles, grandparents, cousins – and none of these people knew about our baby plans. Only OH’s parents, sister and brother in law knew.
We were pretty certain that the majority of the family would be fine with it (and we were right) but there were question marks about OH’s aunt, who was a little uncomfortable about OH being gay, and I think has had reservations about gay parenting.
As it turns out, she was fine too. And when she heard about the miscarriage she was really understanding. She couldn’t have kids herself, which has caused her a lot of pain, and really seemed to get how difficult this is.
Some definite good news then. It makes me realise just how lucky we are in some respects, having the love and support of our families as we go through all of this (my family are very supportive too). I know people whose families disowned them when they came out. I can’t imagine how difficult that must be.
Now. Back to waiting…